BALANCING THE EBB AND FLOW OF CHANGE
Dec. 09, 2024
BALANCING THE EBB AND FLOW OF CHANGE
While we rarely question the ebb and flow process of the ocean, a process that brings continual change to the ocean and its shoreline, we often question and have difficulty dealing with the ebb and flow in our lives. Why is that? Well, probably
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because the ebbs in our lives take something away and create a loss. This loss can lead to a low for us. (This can be likened to going after a sea shell at the ocean that has been washed in with the flow of the tide. But, before we can pick it up, the tides ebb takes that shell out to sea again.) Certain losses leave us with a sense of disappointment. I really liked that shell and wanted it. Why wasnt I fast enough to get it? I really like my job. Why did I have to lose it? I really like the community in which I live. Why did we have to move? And, lets face it. We usually devote more time, energy, and attention to the ebbs because they usually slow us down or prevent us from moving in a direction or they alter something we want.
The reality is things come and things go. This is the rhythm of life. The late American writer and theologian, Thomas Merton once said, We cannot be happy if we expect to live all the time at the highest peak of intensity. Happiness is not a matter of intensity, but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony. Oh, my, yes. But the question is how do we manage the ebbs and flows in our lives so that we can maintain a sense of balance?
Reflect on the ebb. Take time to review and reflect on what really changed; what really happened. Get in touch with your emotions related to the change anger, sadness, disappointment, frustration, etc. and ask yourself why you feel that way. When we reflect, we think seriously and consider carefully.
Accept the ebb. What has happened may make no sense to us; we may not understand it all. But, there is always a reason behind everything, even change we dont understand. New Zealand-born Australian country musician, Keith Urban said, Life is a balance of holding on and letting go. Accepting the change means letting go of the past; of what was. We cannot regain balance nor move forward until weve accepted what has happened; what has changed.
Keep things in perspective. Keeping things in perspective means that we have to keep things in context; we have to look at things and understand them within the bigger picture. For whatever is happening (worrying/bothering/causing you concern), how big a deal is it really? What effect is the issue really having on your life? Is it truly important or is it a side issue? If truly important, stop worrying and just take action. If insignificant, stop worrying, dont give it any importance, and move on.
Set priorities. Align what you do with your values then prioritize what you do in line with those values. This is especially important if the ebb makes it feel as if our world has been turned upside down. Establish boundaries and limits. These define how you take charge of your time and space, and help keep you aligned with your values. It is okay to let go of some things, especially those not totally in line with your values.
Renew or reroute your purpose in life. Ask yourself whether the ebb has affected who you are or where you are going. Take some time to re-examine what truly matters to you. If your purpose in life hasnt really been altered by the change, give yourself time to accept the change then continue to move forward with your life. If you feel the change has altered your lifes purpose or direction, then use the changed environment as a springboard to reroute your direction.
Maintain hope. If the ebb brings darkness, one way to regain balance is to have hope. Hope is the expectation of something beneficial in the future; it is a feeling of expectation and desire. Hope helps us to keep going through the ebbs tough times. Hope lets us know that no matter how bad things seem at the moment, no matter how dark, the flow will bring something better and brighter.
Be flexible. Adopt the philosophy that anything can happen at any time. If this is your mindset, when something unexpected happens in the ebb, it is less likely to throw you way off balance. When stuff happens, roll with it. There are some things over which you have no control. You can only control your response to stuff.
Keep moving. Einstein said, Life is like riding a bicycle. In order to keep your balance you must keep moving. And, just like when riding a bicycle, if you fall off you need to get back on and continue the ride. The same is true when the ebb enters your life. While it make knock you down (knock you off the bike), you need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get right back on and pedal on. The rest of the ride may be different. You may have a different outlook. But, the important thing is you keep moving. And, the more you move, the more you will regain your balance. And, who knows, your balance may be better and stronger.
Take it one day at a time. Dont impose a time limit on yourself and feel that your balance needs to be back right away. Give yourself time. While the ebb may have happened in an instant, the recovery from it may take time. Give yourself whatever time is needed. As long as you are continuing to move forward (and dont let the change get you stuck), it doesnt matter if you take 10 steps forward and three steps back. The net result is still forward movement. So, take things one day at a time. Before too long your life will be back in balance.
Look for the positive in the ebb. There is a positive aspect in everything although it may not always be obvious. We have to look. No matter how terrible the situation might seem, you can always find something good if you take the time to think about it. Concentrate on what is right with the situation, not what is wrong with it.
Concentrate on positive thinking. Replace negative thoughts and words with positive ones, words that make you feel happy and in control. Concentrate on positive thoughts and positive results. Positive thinking helps us cope more easily and brings optimism into our lives. Positive thinking can go a long way in bringing balance and constructive changes into our lives (which might be so needed with the ebb).
Our life is like the ocean there will be flows and ebbs, highs and lows. As Doe Zantamata (writer, author, photographer, graphic designer, teacher and student of life) says, Everything in the world has a natural ebb and flow. The tides move out but flow in again. While the flow is much more comfortable, the ebb has great meaning. When time and resources are stripped away, you can see clearly what and who truly matters to you and who you matter to in return. When your flow returns, youll know exactly with who and where your time will be best spent, with a brand new appreciation for it all. We need to remember that the next flow is never far behind the ebb. Working to maintain balance during the ebb will help us appreciate each flow more.
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